TruMama

These are my boys. (and girls!)

They are the reason each day is gorgeous.

They are the reason I laugh.

They are the reason I’m comfortable.

They are the reason I’m crazy. (I love you so much, I literally could eat you up! Num. Num. Num.)

They are the reason I’m sane.

They are the reason I breathe.

I love you both too much!

**Luna was terrified of the camera. I had to hold on to her tight to get the 3 shots.

This post is inspired by a favorite book of mine, The Secret of Saying Thanks, by Douglas Wood. “The heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time. The more we say thanks, the more we find to be thankful for. And the more we find to be thankful for, the happier we become. We don’t give thanks because we’re happy. We are happy because we give thanks.”

This heart of mine has changed. It’s changed in the most beautiful way. It has discovered a precious secret. A life changing secret. And it is no longer my heart at all. It is no longer my life at all. It is yours.

This heart of mine laughs. It laughs out loud. When you make a face or act silly, we crack ourselves up. We get a kick out of any little thing. We look for fun. You make my heart giggle.

This heart of mine sings. It sings the sweetest melodies. When we play or work, we often sing. We make up our own songs. We sing at the top of our lungs and dance together. You give my heart rhythm.

This heart of mine grows. It is overflowing. When I look at you it swells up and feels like it’s going to burst. How does it even fit in my chest anymore? I think I’ve outgrown myself. You make my heart flourish.

This heart of mine protects. It is fierce. Wherever we go, whatever we do, I look out for you. I guard you. You make my heart a shield.

This heart of mine shines. It is a bright force. In the smallest moments, I find the greatest joy. Colors are brighter. The air is crisper. I relish each day. I soak up each day.  You make my heart glow.

This heart of mine plays. It is happy. No matter the task, you always find a way to make it a game. I feel unabashed joy. We frolic cheerfully. You make my heart young again.

This heart of mine tickles. It is touched. Sometimes I just can’t stop. It builds and builds. It overtakes me and I feel like I can’t breath. You make my heart excited.

This heart of mine softens. It is mushy. A twinkle from your eye or just the sound of your voice and the sweetest comment melts me. I nearly fall to pieces and crumble. You make my heart tender.

This heart of mine is gentle. It is calm. The world around us is more beautiful than ever before. The world is delicately quiet. Nature is our best friend. You make my heart peaceful.

This heart of mine is wholesome. It is fresh. You make everything new. The path is clear. Healthy choices are easy. I want to be alive with you as long as possible. You make my heart pure.

This heart of mine is compassionate. It is sympathetic. Like being wrapped nice and snug in a fleece blanket. I’m more sensitive and understanding. I see deeply with loving eyes. You make my heart warm.

This heart of mine is thankful. It is appreciative. I value the moments that make up our days, careful not to waste one. I treasure our time together to make the most of it. To create meaningful memories for you. I respect you and honor you for the person you are. You make my heart grateful.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard

I’m thankful to spend my days with you.

I love you too much!

Happy Thanksgiving

I vote for fun. Laughter makes everything better. Let yourself go and be you.

I vote for joy. Small moments make the best memories. Appreciating what you have yields the greatest return.

I vote for love. The heart expands, fills, and overflows. Life is redefined.

I vote for peace. Live simply so others may simply live. (Gandhi) Be kind and gentle.

I vote for courage. Show up and stand tall. Trust yourself in all you do.

I love you too much!

***Tru took the pics of our visit to Vereen Gardens AND his words are laced throughout this post. His thoughts and feelings about nature.

Nature and breathing.

They go hand in hand.

Leads us to the nowhere.

And to everywhere.

It takes us around to see beautiful things.

To be so free.

Unleashed and pure.

To live simply.

It’s imperfect.

It’s weird.

Yet the greatest artwork ever created.

A perfect masterpiece.

I need it.

It makes us more loveful.

It makes us more smileful.

It makes us more heartful.

Without it there’d be no life.

So go there.

And get lost in it.

Go there and come alive.

I love you too much.

I’ve given myself a role in the family. I’m the Memory Chaser.

I catch moments and freeze them.

I hold time still.

I tell the story of our life together.

There’s really nothing more important, I think.

Until…

you don’t want your picture taken.

Or we both just get a little photogenic.

Whatever the moment, I chase it.

Game on!

Thanks for the beautiful stories of my life.

I love you too much!

You’re a whole hand now.

All five fingers!

A whole hand of smiles.

A whole hand of playing!

A whole hand of creating.

A whole hand of love.

A whole hand.

Your whole life.

My whole heart.

And I’ve loved every single minute.

Happy 5th birthday, Tru!

I love you too much!

How can I measure my love for you? This feeling. This life.

Impossible. But every day I try. Hopelessly.

Love is not an amount.

As I watch you burst with excitement…my heart leaps.

As I watch you explore…my mind marvels.

It is every expression. Every smile.

You need nothing. Just attention and you are happy.

How can I measure this love that has completely changed me? Completely changed my life? Every day from here on out?

A radical transformation, indeed.

If I could just find the word. Just find the example. Then you would understand. You would get it.

But I chase after it, like the waves chase after you.

Knocking you off your feet, but you love it and get back up and run right back in. Eager for more.

How can I measure my love for you?

I cannot.

I simply live every day so grateful that you are in my life.

I simply enjoy every moment with you.

I am a moment chaser.

“Come on mama. Get in with me. You can do it. Just put the camera down.”

(And so I did. And it was freezing cold, but Oh so fun!)

I love you too much!

A turtle in this world, I creep along

Always behind

But one night things shift

The world comes to a halt

Sleet pings the earth

I know it is her cheering me on

This white glassy world, my arena

Life in slow motion

Pristine silence

Invigorating and refreshing

The world has slowed to my pace

Just us…we walk

Just us…we play

Just us…we live

And now I am a champion

This shiny earth my trophy

You are without a doubt my greatest work.  From somewhere deep within it begins.

From a simple moment. From the simplest thing…

a smile

a twinkle

a laugh

a tickle

a look

a hug

but whatever it is, it takes over and every bit of me is inspired.

Every bit of me surrenders.

Every bit of me explodes.

And every bit of you puts me all back together again.

I love you too much, my Tru…my muse.

PS – In my life BT (Before Tru), I thought I was very happy and I loved to write and keep journals. I always said, “If I have a kid, fine. If I don’t, fine. We are happy.”  Then one day I decided I might want to try to have a baby. Your dad said he’d do whatever I wanted.  We totally weren’t prepared for what happened next. Upon laying eyes on you, we were completely blown away. We were 100% head-over-hills in love like never before. Ever. We were absolutely smitten with you and can’t imagine, nor remember life without you in it.  So, yes…from somewhere deep inside you got me and every time I write, I try to put it into words and share this complete joy you have brought into our world.

It whispers to me

Like a gentle breeze blowing through the dunes, always there with each ebb and flow

It surrounds me

Omnipresent

Brushing a delicate layer across my soul

It sees me

And loves me for who I am

It touches me

With petal-soft fingers it mends and molds my heart

It sings to me

A song so sweet the orchestra stops

It walks with me

By my side, bringing me courage

It builds me

From where once there was little, now it’s overflowing and growing

It’s independent of me

Yet it’s shadow drapes mine

It brightens me

Pulling upon all that is good

It engulfs me

Silently

Freely

Powerfully

Thank you for the love.

Merry Christmas my Tru.

I love you too much!