TruMama

I have always felt I had more than I deserved. When I was 5 my dad got cancer. I have told you the story many times, but it did make for a different way of life. You know he fought and he survived in a time when cancer had just begun. So, I kinda felt that I had cashed in all my luck. For everything else I received I felt as if I was cheating. And if I ever wanted more, I should do so in secret. I felt guilty for wanting. For years I struggled on this thin line of gratitude.

You did something amazing for me. You liberated me. You broke that lock.

For I had received something so precious. So beautiful. So special.
And it was a gift.
Maybe that gift was easier for me to accept because it was not just mine to receive, but mine and Grant’s. Whatever the reason, I finally felt worthy and you were mine. And I would be forever grateful.

I took on this new approach to life filled with gratitude. I was drowning alive in these beautiful moments with you.

Every little thing was extraordinary and my senses were exploding into pieces. My heart was overflowing with rapids of emotions and to get a grip on this new life it only made sense to be grateful. To stop and appreciate all that had been given to me. To recognize that these things I love more dearly than anything, could not be bought. I have to be thankful. What else could I be? As a child, I got the life of my dad when I was not suppose to and as an adult, I got the life of you. How did I get so lucky? I have come to realize it is not luck at all. It is the gift of God. To receive such gifts, is to be blessed. And when you are blessed, you should give thanks. Every day be grateful. Every day live accordingly. Every day. That is ThanksLiving.

Every day I wake up and am thankful for another day to share with you.
To hug you. To kiss you. To give you healthy food. To play with you. To laugh with you. To learn with you. To grow with you.
I love being at our house, with our dogs. Our home is cozy and loving and the most comfortable place in the world.
I love being at school with you. Watching you walk down the hall. Getting the best hug ever at lunch every day. And playing in my room after school.

Every day I see the world with these grateful eyes. I see beauty everywhere.
We walk outside and notice bright flower blooms. Clouds drifting overhead. The moon shining in the dark. The wind blowing across our faces. The songs of birds. And the scurry of squirrels in the trees. We notice.

Every day I think of this world. Not for only my lifetime, but for lifetimes to come. The future you will live in. The world you will be growing your family in.

A constant practice of gratitude keeps me focused. With gratitude in my heart, I am humbled by so much wonderfulness.
I simply have too much to be grateful for. I can not even keep up.
So I write. And I write. And I write.
I photograph. I share.

That is how I embrace this beautiful life.
Every night I write in my gratitude journal. Many nights you help me with this.
I go to bed grateful for another beautiful day. I rest in the graciousness of such a life.
This gift of a life.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I love you too much!