TruMama

Things don’t have to be at 100% to be happy. There’s something called the tipping point which claims that if you can have just 51% positive thoughts, than you can have a wonderful life. I feel fairly confident that we stay beyond the tipping point most days. Easily.

There’s been a lot of bumps in my life along the way, but nothing compares to being a parent. It’s the greatest thing ever, but also the hardest. I used to just think of myself, but now it’s all about you. If things didn’t work out, it was okay because the only person at risk was me. Now, your life is involved. My joys now are the sweetest gifts of my life, but my mistakes now leave the deepest wounds. Every day is a quest to make it the best day possible for you, but I am so far from perfect. I often fall short. Most of the time I can’t make decisions for worrying, which is right? Which is best? Which will work? People stand in judgement and I know this, so I fret even more. I start thinking about things that really don’t apply to the problem at hand. Your daddy, on the other hand, sees everything crystal clear. So easily. How does he do that???? I’m in awe of him. A straight shooter, he hits the target every time. He zooms in on what matters and sticks to the point.

(This is how I see things)

I promise you this: I will find my focus.

In trying to put you first and keep your best interest at heart, I get so overwhelmed. I try to handle things the way I think best and end up making a mess of it all. I end up feeling like a failure to you. So, I bounce around in this web of confusion. I try to handle life calmly. I think to myself, in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not a big deal. Little things. Learn and grow.

I promise you this: I will not second guess myself.

Everything happens for a reason. My path led me here. With you. And I believe I have the chance to create beautiful memories for you. That’s my gift and my purpose. I’m looking for quiet. I just want you to smile and be comfortable. I just want you to be happy. I just want to be here with you and for you. Every day.

I promise you this: I will take a deep breath and calm my mind!

I love you too much.