Hey, Future Me

Posted by Kim on Wednesday Nov 1, 2017 Under Dear Tru

I look at you.  All the time.

And every time I am reminded of how much you have changed.

Every six months we mark your height on your closet door frame.

And every time I see how much you have grown.

With all the obvious right in front of me, I remain unable to grasp the truth.

Unable to swallow the fact that you are BIG.

Life has blinded me and I am stuck in a state of dark adaptation.

Constantly trying to adjust.

I mean, in my head, you are a little boy.

In my heart, you are a baby.

I am saturated with memories.

With an abundant archive, I close my eyes and reflect on distant days.

Holding you at bedtime and walking gently around the room. A soft, fuzzy head on my shoulder and plump little legs resting on my arms.

Picking you up out of your crib after your nap. You standing there waiting for me. Smiling, you reach your arms out and the weight of you feels like pure love. I squeeze you.

Oh the little sounds. All the little sounds you made before you could talk. A Morse code of sweetness.

I knew I needed to backup my valuable life data. At the time I tried to soak in every detail knowing that one day I would need to recall those moments. And now that day is here. It is right here knocking on my heart.

As much as I tried to etch details into memory and preserve those little years, it escapes me. I mean, I remember, but I do not remember.

Thank goodness for a massive collection of photos and videos.

I look at you now getting huge. Practically eye to eye with me. No longer am I able to pick you up. Almost having to reach up to hug you. Surprised each time I notice that you are the length of the sofa. What has happened?

So, hey, future me you can not get this back. No matter how much you focus on the present, days from now it too, will be a distant memory. This will be gone. Many of these beautiful details lost on me. Beautiful details that should never be forgotten.

So do yourself a favor future me.

Slow down. Pay attention. Awaken the senses.

And grab the camera.

I love you too much!

 

 

 

 

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